O great light of the world

Currently Listening to: Great Light of the World -- Bebo Norman

(I <3 pandora)

It was a year ago that Matt and I found the condo for sale, that my friends and I were training for 13.1 and that I still went to Texas State.
Life, life, life.


Last night Matt and I were reading in bed and we were discussing David and his psalms. O, David and your psalms.

I want to be faithful in prayer to Matt and my family. So, in an effort to watch God display his faithfulness to me here are some of my past prayers and or bits of wisdom I have picked up about loving my husband:

"I am the wife of a man with a strong foundation. Thank You for Your faithfulness to me in that. Father - make us holy. Teach us to serve and love with even greater power through your Spirit. We will go Lord. Send us, send us. Teach us Your will. Lord, make our family a light. I pray for our children - may they be devoted to you. " - journal, March 15, 2008

"God's plan spans lifetimes and generations. God's story is one of redeeming generations." - Jason Oban, "it is finished" Good Friday Hope service

"I married you -- not our goals, not our hopes and dreams - you. You is what I want." - Katie Fox, "into your hands I commit my spirit", Good Friday Hope service

"Most of the pain we experience in this life is caused by the loss of illusions." - Katie Fox - speaking volumes to me about struggling with disappointments in marriage.

"Lord, please help [Matt] get enough rest and somehow experience peace. Help me to serve him Lord. I need to understand service as a wife in greater ways.... Father I love Matt. Thank you so much for him. His love for me teaches me so much. Keep us ever faithful Lord. In word, thought and deed. I greatly desire for Your kingdom to be advanced because of our marriage..." - journal, April 13, 2008

"At times I am overwhelmingly more aware of my own depravities....[Bill Vanderbilt] spoke on the holy spirit and about Hope Chapel being the deepest well in Austin. I feel my spirit stir with these words. I desire to search and know the heart of God and yet I am so aware of my character short comings. Christ, teach me love....Lord, I invite the following with knowledge/awareness of your faithfulness: refine my character. By whatever means. Especially through Christine. Lord, help me to feed on the good things. Thank you for Matt. Lord, continue to reveal ways in which I dishonor him and help me to sacrificially love." - journal, May 1, 2008

" My Mateo. Gently encourage him Lord - to continue to pursue great eternal things. Thank you for his love - thank you for his gentleness and willingness to work hard and be faithful. Please help me to love him with patience and affection. He is a warrior." - journal, "May, 20, 2008

"Help my heart to be thankful. Thank you for Matt. I know. I know that he loves me. He is good and he has a gentle, loving and kind heart. I just don't want to get it after he has spent his energy on everyone else. I desire him. "For love is as strong as Death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame." I feel that. Teach us to protect our marriage. Teach us Abba - we are willing." journal, May 24, 2008

"Your faithfulness to Your word is outstanding (Psalm 37:4)." journal, June 3, 2008

and more and more and more.

I just felt like I should declare the testimony of God's goodness and His faithfulness to answering so many of those prayers. Without a doubt, I have felt a shift in Matt and my relationship. Our arguments play out differently. My heart is indeed more inclined to serve Matt than it was in our first year of marriage (granted, not always...) .

And also, I was thinking about how much God has protected and preserved our marriage despite Matt and my involvement in other activities.

Marriage is such a daily sacrifice. Dan Farrely said its common for people to think about all the good things you get from being married. You get to share a life, companionship, etc etc. But he said its a wake up call for a lot of people when you find out that marriage is rather about how much you can give. I think I truly believe that marriage is a great act of dying to yourself. I'm sure once I have children I will say that is another great act. But even in marriage it seems different than with a child. Because a child can't really help your needing to die to yourself. They can't do things for themselves - but husbands and wives can do things for themselves and yet, still one needs to submit and serve unto the other.

Its very interesting and I am enjoying greatly this journey of learning about it.
So, why not blog about it because I'm sure over time my opinions and thoughts will shift some more.