just for kicks.

There is my life until early December. What fun. I'm so thankful I got into Pharmacology. It was quite the task. I start UT tomorrow at 8am. I'm working for the nursing home for the last consistent time tomorrow, and I will probably get there late because the bus schedule changed (which is why it's the last time).

Meeg and Jo found out they could go to Egypt, hurray! We'll all be riding camels for Christmas.

in response to david taylor's blog

"5) The disciplines are best practiced in a community of friends. What kind? You only need three. You need 3 friends who are doggedly constant in their love for you; the kind who will walk with you everywhere, loving you no matter what and who are not afraid to tell you when you’re full of crap—a crappy attitude, crappy behavior, or crappy art."

I need three...I wonder who they are.

i'll buy that dream

Imagine me with my head on your shoulder, And you with your lips getting bolder, A sky full of moon and a sweet mellow tune, I'll buy that dream...


Imagine me in a gown white and flowery, And you thanking Dad for my dowry, A church full of folks, those last minute jokes, I'll buy that dream...

Matt is eating dinner with the Ryniker fam tonight. Lucky. In fact, los padres, los tios, los hermanos y el richard hampton will all be there. Lucky indeed. And one more person whose identity I'm not sure if I may reveal yet.... one day though.

A honeymoon in Cairo, in a brand new autogyro, Then off to Rio for a drink, We'll settle down in Dallas, In a little plastic palace, Oh it's not as crazy as you think...

Today at the Y with Mary Jane I sat at the end of the lane again. I was continuing to read through Matthew when a lifeguard named Joe came and asked me which book I was in. It was easy to tell he was a christian. He goes to ACC and wants to become a nurse. I asked if he was involved in a college group, which he is, heavily. He went to Turkey with them earlier this summer. I would have invited him to HSL, but lets not divide the body. However, I was completely interested in talking to him. This is monumental. Usually, I shell up into my little, well, shell and don't enjoy speaking with those whom I do not know. However, I branched out. I decided to extend love in the form of genuine interest in his life and ambitions (in a purely platonic, flashing my ring with every gesture of my hand sort of way). I felt this, although small to many, to be a monumental break though. I chose to be, in the tiniest sense perhaps completely undetectable by those around me, outgoing. Interesting.

Imagine me on our first anniversary, With some one like you in the nursery, Oh, it doesn't sound bad, And if it can be had, I'll buy that dream...

This song is on one of Mary Jane's lovely 1950s cds. This may slowly become my new favorite type of secular music...

Imagine me eighty three wearing glasses, And you ninety two making passes, It doesn't sound bad, and if it can be had, I'll buy that dream...

page 99, A Simple Path

"You must give what will cost you something. This, then, is giving not just what you can live without but what you can't live without or don't want to live without, something you really like. Then your gift becomes a sacrifice, which will have value before God. Any sacrifice is useful if it is done out of love." - mother teresa

1 John 3:
16This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. 17If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? 18Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 19This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence 20whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.

beautiful.

marvel at my productivity

I have been ridiculously productive lately. I made this colossal to-do list with daunting tasks such as: call debt-collection agency and pay off my unknown about medical debt from 2005, cancel BCBS insurance and enroll in Student Insurance (they have maternity! whoo!), buy school books... etc. All very time consuming, very responsible grown-up things. The types of things I usually get overwhelmed by and can't finish. However, the list is growing steadily closer to completion.

What a weird time when school is ALMOST about to start, but isn't quite starting yet. UT starts on Wednesday. What is a MWF class? I haven't had one since January of 2005. And that, ladies and gents, is the honest truth.

I'm living with Mary Jane until Saturday morning. Always lovely. Maggie moved out this morning and I felt prompted to pray for her before she left. I immediately felt nervous and then when she did leave, it was sooner than I thought and I just forgot. It was, amnesia disobedience to the Holy Spirit. Sometimes I see Will Bibee in moments of intense conviction.. isn't that strange? Well, it probably wouldn't be if you knew Will Bibee.
I took Mary Jane swimming this morning. My stomach was feeling upset so I didn't get in. Instead I read at the end of the lane. Mary Jane swam for an HOUR! A half mile in distance. That's pretty intense for a 81 year old woman I feel. I was really proud of her.

I am reading A Simple Path (there is no underline option) by Mother Teresa. I read something that may have unalterably changed my life:

"Love is not patronizing and charity isn't about pity, it is about love. Charity and love are the same--with charity you give love, so don't just give money but reach out your hand instead. When I was in London, I went to see the homeless people where our sisters have a soup kitchen. One man, who was living in a cardboard box, held my hand and said, 'It's been a long time since I felt the warmth of a human hand.'"

I immediately thought of Matt and his ministry under the bridge. He was telling me about how upwards of 40 people hide in the shadows (the city is beginning to clear out areas of land which used to provide covering), all doing and selling cocaine (what IS this other life Matt leads!?) and he was thinking, "God, if you want me to give out water to these people send someone out!" Within minutes someone he knew (from his repeated times of service to these people) came out and ushered him in and walked him through the crowd of people. I have never felt any desire to go with him to these times, until I read the above. Maybe I'm being extreme. I have desired to see whats it like, but I truly felt convicted and compassion once I read Mother Teresa's testimony.(O compassion, how I have been tirelessly praying for you.)

I love reading about Mother Teresa. At Bethel we were supposed to give a report about one of the great evangelists in this book we were reading, mostly about healing evangelists who had huge followings. I wrote about Mother Teresa instead. She embodies the Christianity I wish I could live out. Sometimes I feel as though working at the nursing home is one teeny tiny step. I try to not become impatient or frustrated, even though at times people can drive you crazy. So many of my patients never have anyone visit them. And then there is loneliness in the staff as well. My co-workers have dramatic lives. Pray for them.

Matthew 6:
19"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.

End of Summer

It is almost officially over. Next week, on Monday, I start classes again. 12 hours at UT, 4 at ACC. The academic cycle continues. Matt started back to school this past Monday. His first day of classes with kids is next Monday. There was a part of us that was anticipatory, dare I say, excited about this upcoming year. However, these past few days with Matt back at school I suddenly realize how grateful I am that he has a job which gives him back to me 3 days at Thanksgiving, 2 weeks at Christmas, a week in the spring and for 2.5 months during the summer. That is definitely the perk of teaching. The pay and health care benefits? Not so much perks.

It is always about August that I start to feel like, "Hey! Christmas is right around the corner!" Which always makes me think, "How can it be Christmas already?" But, it isn't... it just feels like it. This Christmas Matt and I are spending Dec 25-Jan 3rd in Egypt w/the Wilsons. Who would have ever thought that Brandon Wilson and I would be hanging out in Egypt together!? Life is so weird.

In the meantime, Meagan and Jonny are living with us for some added non stop fun.

I ran today - who knows how far because our car isn't working but it was about 48 minutes. I started at 10:30 which was surprising. It wasn't as hot as it has been last week. In fact, there has been SO MUCH rain here I'm afraid my little flowers that Meagan helped me to plant are going to drown. Too sad, too sad.

I don't know how I feel about this year. Lately I've been asking God to help me be able to rest in his presence and experience peace. I feel as though He's been faithful to that prayer. We've wrestled with a few things lately... timing, holiness, loneliness. But I still feel His faithfulness. Lately the topic of wealth keeps coming up in the scripture that I am reading. There is something there for me as well. (Not as though I struggle w/wealth....) I guess, I'm trying to experience some sort of emotion about this upcoming year or semester and the best I can come up with is that I'm dreading the winter and how it's going to be cold. If it were up to me, it would be 90 all year.

Hopefully, Matt and I can focus more on each other. Last spring, with the weddings and the working, it was intense. We both felt like we weren't seeing each other or getting to spend any quality time together, a rough thing to experience in the first year of marriage. But this year, our schedules look pretty different and we've both agreed to not commit to anything else. I'm only working a few days a week and I have long amount of time on Tues/Thur when I can be home - hopefully playing the role of housewife as well as studying.

I think that is it. I'm going to eat lunch, read a bit and then head off to work at the nursing home. I haven't been there in two weeks! Who knows who my patients are anymore.